PETA Bitch

So, my friend Alexis and I (yes -- Alexis who lost Robert) went to Six Flags Great Adventure on Friday, April 25th. Since I am in self-training mode in between projects, I was able to get myself a day of paid time off; she just got a nice new job and doesn't start until Wednesday so we decided to go and celebrate. We got there quite early, as the bus ride was much faster than we anticipated, so with the aid of a Gold Flash Pass we were able to snare three rides in under an hour: King Daka, El Toro and Rolling Thunder (just for good old times' sake). After getting our heads rattled around, we took a break and had lunch, digested, and then went for Nitro. That rattled our heads around even more, so we broke for another 30 minutes before taking a trip on the Duh-nuh-nuh-nuhnuhunununununublah BATMAN.

Heads destroyed by then, but she resolved to make it to Superman as if her life depended on it. In order to do so, however, we had to break until near the end of our day just before we left so we wouldn't destroy our brains. In the meantime, we went to see the tiger show right by the King Daka ride because tigers are mad cool.

This tiger, sitting in a grassy little cul de sac, behind a chain link fence and a glass panel, is sitting there enjoying a half-nap. This group of teens comes walking by -- at least they looked and acted like teens -- and watch as the big cat suns itself. As if by some vomit-inducing, superficial and pretentious display of compassion, one stupid little bitch goes, "Like, ulch. I can't watch this, like, it's so sad. I want to like, go up to the trainer and ask her why this tiger is like, in captivity and not in the wild, you know, like, but it's not her fault."

Then whose fault is it, PETA bitch? I should really call her PETA-wannabe bitch, because I bet you she wouldn't do anything about this if she could. She doesn't give a shit -- she just wants to act all righteous in front of her fellow cool teenage posse. Right. Meanwhile, the tiger makes a big turn and lies on its back in the supine position, legs and paws twitching about in the air and enjoying the sun on its belly.

"Um, that looks like a pretty happy cat to me," Alexis muttered to me.

"Yeah, like, so sad," said one of PETA bitch's friends.

"C'mon, let's go. It's so heart-wrenching to watch," cooed PETA bitch, not sounding the least bit concerned, upset or even remotely emotional.

So how about that tiger show? We learn that the breed of tigers we were seeing is actually incredibly endangered (not to mention tigers in general) and that the two tigers on display, whose breed is called the golden tabby tiger, with really gorgeous butterscotch-brown stripes on top of orange (as opposed to black-on-orange or black-on-white), were two of only approximately 30 left in the world. Of course, the usual claims of poaching and dwindling of prey were made as reasons for their endangered status.

Whether or not you believe this is up to you (I choose to believe it), but before you go to a zoo or animal display and jump to the conclusion that an animal's being tortured just by the fact that it's not in the wild and then try to impress your friends by showing off what a fucking hippie self-righteous love peace and happiness bullshit canCUN Tourist you are, just think about the possibility that maybe they're in captivity because otherwise they'd all be goddamn dead.

Stupid PETA bitch.