LeBrohn Starks

LeBron James, meet a little bit of basketball history.

Okay -- to be fair, this was Game 1 of the 2008 Eastern Conference Semi-finals. Starks' own 2-for-18 performance was during Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals against the Houston Rockets -- a much more important game than a series opener "feel-'em-out" game.

But still. James' shooting performance -- not to mention several botched layups -- was just as painful to watch. Here we've got a perennial MVP candidate, the so-called King, a man who could soon be averaging a triple-double for the season for many years to come, and we see him make only two baskets in 39 minutes of playing time -- and missing 16.

Did I mention he had 10 turnovers to go along with his 12 points, nine boards and nine dimes? Hell, son coulda had a quadruple-double the shitty way.

In any event, I'm not hopping on the "LeBron sucks" bandwagon. He's a force, and along with young studs like Dwight Howard, Chris Paul and fellow draftmates Dwyane Wade and Carmelo Anthony, he's an icon for the league and will be for years to come. It's just disconcerting to see someone who's really supposed to be that guy -- a killer, a monster, an unstoppable force of nature -- pull such a poor performance out of his jock strap. Anyone notice that while you usually get yours at the foul line when you've got a poor shooting night, LeBronze didn't attempt a single free throw in the second half? Yeah. This is year five, Bronny. Stop taking those shitty three-point attempts.

But hey, on the bright side, he's still only 23. Can you imagine him five or six years from now, if and when he improves his scoring consistency to Kobe-Jordan status? Can you imagine if and when he improves his defense to Kobe-Jordan status?

...well I can't -- not just yet. First I've got to be confident that I won't see 2-for-18 from him very often in the future.

Ok, ok, ok. So there's another bright side: LeBron only needs 141 regular-season points to pass John Starks' all-time 14-year career mark of 10,829. At the rate he's going, it'll take him five games when the 2008-2009 season starts.

Unless he shoots 2-for-18...